Confusion.

Talked to my BRAther today at tuition. Guess after a talk with someone , i felt good. At least i'm convinced. IF u can't convinced them, confused them. A nick from Justin. Well well, true. But in this case , i'm the one who are not convinced so i got confused.

What a line. well, guess the phase has gone 1000km from me. Way far away. But i don't know when it will return again to it's home sweet home. But it's high time it gets to be independent and get a new owner by not relying on me and made me emo-ish.

Got a motivation book from Mr Chua during tuition, the title of the book which attracted me first. Not the cover. " Master Your Mind , Design Your Destiny. " Kayy said that the cover of the book look dull , as if it's a dictionary or something. Kayy, never judge a book by it's cover but DO judge a book by it's TITLE.

Parts of the first chapter had already got me pull to it, forming bonds with it. Well, gotta say , Adam Khoo , indeed a great attention seeker. *hope he doesnt even sees this* .He got the writing skills!

*deep breath*


Everything will be alright in the end.


This goes to everyone having difficulties in their lives.


Looky here. REBORN Karlyn.

Labels: Definitely.

Haven't I?

It seem to be difficult to express the things i want today. Everything seem to settle in my heart like settlement, heavy yet pressurizing.

Lots happened this week. Only way to do that is just to blog it out.
Now, my mind are messed up pretty hard.
For a moment there,
i thought i would cry.
But ,
i didn't.
Which surprised myself in a way.

Do i know myself?
insecurity.

Hey , You!
You!~
you conquered my world.
That,
You must know.

Labels: i will try.

Ignition. Since when , i ve changed?

Living day by day without any focus in your eyes.
Is that what you want ?
What lies ahead of you is very unpredictable. That i have made it very clear to myself.

Since when,
i have this kinda of feeling rolling inside of me.

Nerves,
With them , you can feel anything you want or you don't want.
As for me, i need them to know i'm still alive.

Watched a black comedy movie this afternoon.
"Hot Fuzz"
A village of people are living in their so-called dream-village.
They killed for that aim.
Heaven or dream place of most people wanted so.
Peace, freedom , happy.

For what i think,
You aim for something you want but not in a state which you are dreaming.
Too smooth, everything went too smooth in your life until you start to doubt whether you're alive.

Yet, this is human nature.
I felt pain. I had two more new blue black.
i never noticed them until i had my shower.
i ignited the aroma candle in my room.
The molten wax dripped when i picked up the candle.
The molten wax came down my fingers.
Nice wave line of wax on my fingers.
For a moment i felt , pain and heat from the wax.
Then it disappeared again.

Aimless.
Felt so mad at myself.
'Cause i can't find the inspiration i need.
It doesn't make any sense when you're doing something without an inspiration.
Things just seem meaningless.

Again, i gotta say i'm not emo.
I just need some time to think.
Like what Andy did, put the mind to blank for 5 seconds.

Sweet dreams , baby.







For inspiration.

Labels: i will try.

Why am i turning back. Past. What a word.

In control.
School. Felt like escape class for a day.
Take some serious time off from the class.
The Environment.
I felt different.
I wonder why.

Special.
On and On.
I kept trying.
I will actually finish crossing line.

Emotions.
I totally understand why it burst out like that.
I apologize for the text i sent.

Posting words that can actually triggers the thoughts and motivations in me.
How i wish.

I have 19 chapters to go.
I'm reading a novel called " Hacking Harvard"
Like the book said :
You don't have to be brilliant, You just need a plan.

Labels: get me drunk., i will try

What i ve lost and what i ve wanted for now, NOW , is DETERMINATION

Again, i have lost the aim for life, the goal.
Searching for it again,
Again
And again.

Non-stop.
Thinking of you.
You really have no idea about it.

Things were not in the right place since this morning.
There won't be a next time for it again.
I don't wish to be the one.
My sentences aren't complete.

I'm barely typing those words out.
It's hard. The first time, i felt the heaviness of words.
Sentences.

Silent.
Peace.
Freedom.
Determination.
Inspiration.
Innovation.
Creation.

Totally hard to seek for.



In Progress.

Labels: i will try

What you got, What i ve got.

Words.
Again, the feelings are stuck with me. How can i throw them away? is that even possible for me? For once i doubted , now i don't. I will do it.

Simple.
I will keep things as simple as possible. Why make life difficult. Simon once said that to me. Maybe he made a point there for me. I should think about that more.

Life.
Try to live it, slow down to see the world in a different angle. Vivian cried, she was scared that she couldn't make everything in time, hey , girl. Advice from me to you is written on that piece of paper, you would wanna slow down to relax and not to waste time but you can absorb more when you relax. Trust me. Don't push yourself too hard. That is to myself , her and all others whom heading for exams and for the unknown future ahead.

Destiny.
Madam Rajwant once said , everything is perfectly planned by the nature. It designed for us ever since the day we were born. Alright, some point there , i agree with you.
Sorry to piss you off today, we don't mean it. But for once, please listen to what we have to say, not you bla-ing in the class for non-stop, we gotta rest.

Stress, tense.
Alright, there's 3 months left on the calendar before i will face the final paper. Tense, stress, everything negative came close to me and tried to bring me down. To hell with it, i'm not going down. I'm fighting back ,real hard.

Ceiling.
There's a place where i can just lie down peacefully and have some time of my own in a plain structure. Thoughts, unpredictable. Just like me.

Again, finally i'm free
and
i'm off for work.

Labels: awaken the brain cell.

Hey, looky here. We are cute.

Had a wonderful night.
Concert night.
I made it on time. Saw Arvin arranged the drums , i quickly went in and watched you performed. Alright, i was like :" huh~ cant see me huh?" Guess the lighting was too strong on stage. Totally covered all the sight. You guys definitely rocked the opening for the concert. WAY better than junior 2 and senior 1. Gotta say, you did impress me.

Alright, never did take in any solid food yesterday, so i was on the edge of fainting. Bla~ heck cares, went to Mc's ordered pie , porridge and orange juice. Alright, i understand that at my condition i cannot and not allowed to have Mcdeluxe.
Not good for my tummy too.
Mei Mei and Pik Cheng and her sister went for movie. Left me alone enjoying the quality of me and you. But too bad you gotta leave for the band thinggy. I sat at San's cafe for an hour with people looking at me with a weird eye sight. Right. Fuck off people!



Me and Mei Mei . Taken while we were walking and waiting for Pik Cheng's sister.



Cute? Me and Mei Mei bought each one for ourselves. Kinda cute but guess what is in it?



Last but not least. Me and Jin. Alright, i admit i'm short, you have to bend down whenever i kiss you. Right, nice shots by the way. Looking good there. And i gotta say, EI is very important.

Asked Pik Cheng's sister to drop me down at Olivia's house. In the end , Olivia , Pei and Ping are not home yet. I end up walking alone while the rain poured on me. The feeling was great, gotta say it can really chills one's thoughts and messy idea. Arrived home at about 11 in the night. Showered and sat in front of the desktop. Chatted with Jin, had fun , enjoyed myself. Aww, i missed you once i gotta leave. Addicted to you, Jin. Headed for my bed after i have uploaded the pictures in Friendster. Jin, you might want to show it to your mom. She would kill me, i guess.



Hey, boy. i'm under your spell and you have done more than enough. Don't doubt that.

Labels: Cappuccino, sugar sugar.

Issue, We got lots of issue in this world.
For me , family issue is the hardest among all to surpass.

Am i wrong?
i doubted myself.

Maybe, i am.
Cried and laughed.
i'm crazy.

Splitting headache.
Analgesics helps.

Definitely,
the cut ain't painful.
'Cause my mind is on others.

I wonder what is it.
i doubted myself again.

Guilty.
for not being a good daughter nor a good sister in this family.
i will try my best to do my part in the best condition.


Thanks for being there.
You know who you are.

Labels: deep inside, get me drunk.

& I 'm who she is. Okay,i admit i'm a girl with attitude,maybe a lil too straight forward,prone to accidents,tend to trip lots while walking.Which makes me a weird type of girl. BANGS!

Crave for more information?
Well, age is something which is off limit in her world. Enjoying life, so who cares bout' how long have you lived on Earth? Definitely a girl with short hair and it is a miracle that i would be having long hair. I'm those edgy kinda girl yet so hyperactive. Sometimes, she is just out of control. I have some serious yet funny thinking going on in my lil' mind. Would you like to join me in my lil mind? If so, just sit back and enjoy. Before ,she leaves her information here.One thing fo'sho,she is insanely in ♥ with JJ aka Akshon.

To be continue.